I want her back...she wants to be my best friend



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Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male
Me and my ex dated for about 2 months. Things went really fast in that we said I love you fairly quickly in the relationship. We were co-workers at a graphic design place as temps and were friends at work. When we got laid off I went on a whim and called her up to hangout. We started dating soon after and It was great. The thing is, her parents didn't accept me because I was black. That took a toll on the reltionship because she had to pick her family or me. Well, she picked me and moved in with her aunt and uncle. She had to find a good job in order to find her own place and pay her bills. She became extremely stressed out about it and would have huge mood swings when we went out because she always had things to do the next day. She became a waitress at a high class hotel which involved long hours and alot of studying. She began to have doubts and in february said we needed to take a "break" because she wasn't sure if I was the one. As well,she didn't have time for a boyfriend or even herself at this point. She considers me my best friend though and still wants to hangout when she has time. for a month we have hungout roughly twice a week after the break-up. My gripe is I still want her back. We had the greatest times together even if it was for a short time. And she hasn't really closed the door to that cuz we have hooked up after the break. But, she still feels that I'm the closest person in her life, but not as her boyfriend. My very confused how she can say she loves me but isn't in love with me and know this in such a short time. Is there still hope??




User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female
Don't be too needy


I would be wary of this situation, the same happened with my ex who I was with for almost two years. He eventually ended up getting back with his ex but continued contacting me all the time and revealing all his deepest secrets. Eventually I got sick of it because he was giving me very confusing messages so I told him in the nicest possible way that I didn't want to continue with the situation and broke off all contact. I'm not saying your's is the same situation but I would just advise you not to let her take advantage of the fact that you care about her because ultimately it'll be you who ends up hurt. Good luck though, don't be too needy, stay her friend and if it's meant to be then she'll realise herself sooner or later. But if she doesn't treat you properly then don't give her a second thought!

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