Getting Over my ExWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Female I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago.I'm only 14 and me and him went out for 4 months.I dunno if that would be considered long or what.But those for months of my life were the best.I had my first kiss with him and first guy I actually got close to.I fell in love with him.I loved him so much. But within those four months me and him broke up twice..but went back out within a week.So..when we broke up this time I was hoping we'd go back out soon.But its been a month now and we haven't yet.And I still like him SO much..and I might even still love him. He's already went out with 2 others girls.So..I believe he's moved on and doesn't like me anymore.But now were still talk like 3 hours on the phone every night,and were good friends.But then at school he can sometimes act like a real jerk..But everytime I'll see him with his girlfriend at the time( he's single right now) or flirting with another girl it just kills me.It seems like all I ever do is think about him.I feel as if I'm obssessed.Which I don't like. I want to move on,forget about him.But everytime I try or I think I am.Then all of a sudden I start thinking about all the great memories of being with him.And I start to like him more and more.Then even at times I almost cry. Why does it still hurt so much?I still hope we'll go back out.But me and him has talked about it,we decided that it probably wouldn't work out and didn't want to go through all the pain we felt when we broke up.But I'm still feeling it.Should I tell him how I feel?What should I do?Or should I just keep trying to get over him?If so how? User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Female Getting over your first love is EXTREMELY difficult. I'm now a junior in college and I've had many boyfriedns, one serious, since my first love. Until this day, my breakup with my first love was the most difficult. I can't say that my advice is perfect, but I'll tell you what I wish someone had told me during my breakup. My situation was very similar to yours in the sense that my ex and I remained good friends while I was not over him and he dated other girls. I really think it was damaging to my self esteem to remain such good friends with him immidiately after the breakup. I'm not saying that you should never be friends with your exes - they can actually make great friends! However, it's really difficult to do so right away because it doesn't allow you to fully heal from the breakup and get over your ex. If I were you, I wouldn't write off being friends with him completely, but I would take some distance. Also, if you decide to remain friends, make sure you let him know that you don't want to discuss his new girlfriends. Any guy who talks about his current girlfriends with his ex is insensitive and not someone you would want to date anyway. You can tell your ex how you feel if you want - I did it many times after my breakup. We would talk about my feelings all the time, but the outcome of the discussions were always the same. He cared for me, wished to be friends, but was no longer in love with me in "that way" and wanted nothing more. If you do decide to talk with your ex, listen to what he says and accept it. His feelings most likely won't change. There's no set way of getting over your ex. My advice would be to have fun with your friends, work hard at school, and develop your own interests and hobbies. You will get over him some day - I promise you that. The first step is acceptance. Just let yourself be sad and realize that these feelings are what they are. There's really nothing you can do to change them. Getting over a first love is hard, but many, many people all over the globe go through the experience and come out fine. The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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