Getting Over my Ex



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Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Female
I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago.I'm only 14 and me and him went out for 4 months.I dunno if that would be considered long or what.But those for months of my life were the best.I had my first kiss with him and first guy I actually got close to.I fell in love with him.I loved him so much.

But within those four months me and him broke up twice..but went back out within a week.So..when we broke up this time I was hoping we'd go back out soon.But its been a month now and we haven't yet.And I still like him SO much..and I might even still love him.

He's already went out with 2 others girls.So..I believe he's moved on and doesn't like me anymore.But now were still talk like 3 hours on the phone every night,and were good friends.But then at school he can sometimes act like a real jerk..But everytime I'll see him with his girlfriend at the time( he's single right now) or flirting with another girl it just kills me.It seems like all I ever do is think about him.I feel as if I'm obssessed.Which I don't like.

I want to move on,forget about him.But everytime I try or I think I am.Then all of a sudden I start thinking about all the great memories of being with him.And I start to like him more and more.Then even at times I almost cry.

Why does it still hurt so much?I still hope we'll go back out.But me and him has talked about it,we decided that it probably wouldn't work out and didn't want to go through all the pain we felt when we broke up.But I'm still feeling it.Should I tell him how I feel?What should I do?Or should I just keep trying to get over him?If so how?




User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female

You sound as if he meant a lot to you and that you would love to have him back. I think it must be difficult for you to see a solution as this situation is quite complex.
I would suggest that as you are very young and so is he I assume, you maybe try to get over him as he seems to not be coming back to you. He may speak to you on the phone but if he is not actually willing to get back together there is little point wasting your energy over him. It is very painful to also see him with other girls, and you must feel even more confused at this.
It is possible that this boy is just a little immature for a serious relationship, you sound as though this is what you want, as you feel so strongly.
I think that if you try to stop all the calls and speaking to him then he may eventually see sense. You must pull right away to test if he would like you back, at the moment it sounds like he thinks he has you on a piece of string.
If he is mature and has genuine feelings for you he will let you know in his own way if he would like to get together again.
In the case that he doesn't show any signs of wanting you back, you must bite the bullet and accept that he is not ready to be committed to you. After all, at this young age boys especially, are unaware of very strong emotions like love, and unfortunately he may not have felt the same as you do.
But don't worry, there are lots of boys out there and many more along the way!


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