I Can't Leave my RelationshipWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Male I'm currently in a relationship that I am not really happy in. For starters I was kind of tricked into getting back in this relationship. We had broken up because I just realized I needed to experience life on my own and I'm too young for a serious relationship. My mistake was still seeing her every once in a while after we broke up and when I started having feelings for another girl she really took it hard. She never really got over me and is really obsessed with me so she would always cry hysterically to make me feel like a bad guy. Then she tricked me and said she was pregnant, so I felt I had to get back in a relationship with her. Two weeks later while at work, she called me and told me she had a miscarriage. I never saw any forms from the hospital and turns out she never had a pregnancy test done and she just assumed she was pregnant. So now I'm back where I didn't want to be and what makes it wosrt is that she has no family she really gets along with, no friends, she has no one to go to and I feel the responsibility to stay in this relationship even though deep down I really down want to. I'm with her because if she didn't have me she would probably not make it. I've tried to break up with her a few more times but then she just starts crying over and over, then I start to feel sorry and I tell her that I'll stay around and try to work it out. What should I do about this relationship? I'm very unhappy, almost at a state of depression. I tend not to care about anything now, not even my appearance and I'm always down. But on the other hand, I can't stand to see her cry. Help me Please! User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female Tell her wow, this is very interesting, for one you have to tell her how you feel, let her feel how you feel. That will open her eyes even if it hurts her. Too bad. You don't want to be the bad guy, but are you a happy guy with her? You're only cheating yourself by staying with her and she's not even happy. You need to first start by being honest with yourself, tell her you need some time by yourself to figure yourself out. You don't want to settle in life, get married, have kids, and end up cheating on her because you felt trapped. Think about it. Life is already planned for us, we came into this world, we will leave it alone, if something were to happen to you, how would she live? Ask her, she needs to be able to stand on her own too feet. And you are actually helping her by walking away. In a relationship in order for things to work, feelings Have to, MUST be mutual, there will come a time where she'll cry so much you'll become immuned and then you'll start resenting her then you'll really be the bad guy because you bottled up your feelings for so long that you'll explode. Do you want that to happen. Do YOU? You did right by seeking help, now take what I'm saying and run with it, lol. Be straightforward, direct and honest, don't beat around the bush, tell her the truth. How you say it is up to you. But my advice so she doesn't hate you or stalk you is first acknowledge the good in her then tell but you don't think it's going to work out. She'll say if im so good, why do you want to leave me, then you have your chance to explain what's on your mind. Make up your mind, pray and then blame God for your change of Heart =) im getting carried away, but just be yourself and i see you have a strong conscience, but you need to take care of yourself, and you don't need her dependency overtaking your life. Tell her she needs to grow up and be more independent. Who knows that might actually spark your attention and you'll want her back, Only God knows. Good Luck, someone who's been through it The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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