Am I still in love with my ex/best friendWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female I broke up with my boyfriend 10 months ago. He was my first boyfriend and I was his first girlfriend. Before then we were best friends. Since the break up we have remained very close best friends. We see each other every day because of school. He was there for me during the break up. He became my shoulder to cry on. I guess he felt bad about hurting me, his best friend. Back in January he started dating a friend of ours. She was the girl who I felt very threaten by while we were dating. He said it was his dumb luck that he fell for her cause he really want to be single, which is why he left me. He told me not to hate her and to be her friend cause she felt horrible about hurting me. And when I wasn't being nice enough to her he told me to try harder. So I did and now she thinks we are friends when in reality to this day seeing her face feels like a knife entering my heart. I started having a little crush on a guy who apparently he felt threaten by and we kissed. He asked me if we did and i told him yes. He got very upset about it and told me that I deserve someone better than that jerk cause as we kissed he told me that he didn't want a commitment. After that I kissed a random guy at a club. I was drunk. He wasn't happy with that either. As a joke he called me a whore and I told him not too. He said that he was kidding and if anyone is a whore it's him cause he has kissed 3 girls and is dating a close friend of his. His girlfriend went to Italy for a month and since the day she left he has been talking to me online every day. He said that he has no one else to talk to and no one to hang out with since she left. Now that she is coming back next week he and a friend are giving her a welcome home party. He invited me but I don't want to go cause I don't want to celebrate her return. He said that I still can't be uncomfortable with this. Is he right? He is the first thing in my mind when I wake up and the last when I go to bed. Thinking about the past still makes me cry. I saw them kiss for the first time a month ago and it really hurt. When I kissed those two guys, I felt like I was cheating on him. I don't want to lose his friendship. He is my very best friend. He knows me better than I know myself. I'm afraid that the moment I start dating someone new, I won't be able to be his friend. Why can't I stop thinking of him. Why do I still daydream of us together? He takes such good care of me during my times of needs. I feel like we are still together without the kissing and the sex. I am so confused. Is there hope? User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Male Get your mind off things Hey, it is understandable that you feel this way. I'm only 18 but I'm still kind of going through the same with my ex-girlfriend (me thinking about her a lot). I've come to the realization that it's because this was our first love. There is nothing that we can compare our first one too because we never had our second. Also, I guess we both feel that no other person can beat what was felt in this relationship. First love is like puppy love but in reality, there is more to come in the future. You might think that this person is the best thing ever but you haven't experienced the WHOLE world. I understand it's hard for you to move on. It's hard for me to move on with my ex because we still kind of talk to each other and I probably won't move on anytime soon so I can't really you to do anything. BUT, you can always spend time with your friends like hang out, do something to get your mind off of things :) Good luck with this problem and best of luck in the future :) The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
|