My girlfriend is an alcoholicWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male I met this really nice girl through a friend and we've been seeing each other for four months now. I usually like to take things slow, but because of our chemistry, things moved very fast. I learned early on that she has a drinking problem but is looking to stop. As a precaution, I prepared myself and told myself that I would leave if she ever chose alcohol over me. The first time she chose alcohol, I walked away and just about stopped talking to her. We only stayed together because she literally begged me and began detoxing. Things seemed to get better but she slipped up again and had a few drinks. Even though I have strong feelings for her and she has the same, do I get back together with her? I'm in the middle and don't know if this is something that will go away. As of this writing, we are not together and she is supposedly at a live in rehab. But she still calls asking for forgiveness and looking for another chance. User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Male No Resentment I have been in a commited relationship for several years with a woman who is an alcoholic. We lived together for sometime, she went on binges and so we decided to run away and start over with a clean slate. I always took her back. I love her. However, she had spent a month in rehab last year and after she was out i made a promise that if she ever drank again, i would leave. 3 weeks ago, she drank and i left. Two weeks later i realized i had made the mistake and called her. We got together, made plans of how we would fix thing etc. Two days ago she told me her AA sponsor said i should have no contact with her for the sake of her recovery. I'm telling you all of this because what made me realize that i had made mistakes was my first AL-ANON meeting where i relized you have to treat the illness like just that: an illness. I misunderstood her binges and affairs and equated them to her not loving me. Now i'm scared that the woman i was going to ask to marry me might be out of my life. So my advice is, before you go back, know what it is you have to do and then decide what it is you are willing to do but resentment against an alcoholic is futile for a relationship. They already resent themselves. God Bless, Ernest The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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