we've been through alot (sorry its long but i just need to find out what went wrong)We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female me and my ex wer friends for about 4 yrs b4 we started going out. he used to b one of those guys that went out & dumped alot of girls. when we started talking in the summer i didnt want to really let my guard down b.c i knew how he was b4, but he was actualy really mature and wanted to b with me for the longest time. i finaly started to trust him & we went out in early november. things were great, we were always together (he didnt even want to b with his friends) and we were pretty much best friends. on new years eve we got into a big arguement & he flipped out on me when i didnt no that i was doing anything wrong. that night i told him i wanted to b left alone for a little but he wouldnt leave me alone & he went on this big rampage of punching walls. we ended up breaking up the next day. for a week we still talked but then the worse thing happend, his dad decided to move to another state pretty far so that meant my ex was going too. i was heart broken & so was he. but i think it brought our relationship closer because we decided to stay together. he was away for 5 months but would visit alot. we were so inlove & he told his whole family that he planned on moving back to marry me. i know im still young but it meant so much to me that he wanted to b with me like i wanted to be with him. he finaly moved back in june & i couldnt of been happier, but thats where it got bad. he still acted like he loved me but he would disrespect me for no reason at all. i didnt like it & i wasnt going to put up with it so we would get into arguments about it & i would act stand offish or childish at points. we ended up breaking up for a month. i spent most of that month crying & telling him that i was sorry for acting that way & that i would better myself. he would tell me we were going to go out but then he would go hang out with another girls & i would get upset & we would argue. after a month of that i gave up. then one day i stopped by his house to say hi & he asked me back out, i was shocked but really happy. we spent alot of time together which i liked but we were always with his friends too. i didnt really mind hanging out with them cause i liked gettng to know his friends cause they were part of his life. but sometimes he would act disrespectful towards me infront of them & i really hated it. when i told him how i felt he kind of tried to brush it off & say it was ok without saying sorry... that made me even more mad. he wasnt always like this thought, if he saw that i was having a really good time jus hanging out with them he would be all over me, and i didnt mind it at all cause he was being affectionet infront of them & i thought it was cute. but still we got into arguements over little things. he would always think that i was trying to be with other guys which was far from the truth & i tried to let him know that but it didnt work. we got into a little fight over these problems but he didnt want to talk about them. the next day he acted totaly fine so i thought maybe he didnt think the fight was a big deal. then one day he started acting really mean towards me & i wanted to no y. everytime i called he had an additude so after a little while i just gave him some room to vent. that night i really felt bad that he was in horrible mood so i text him telling him that i loved him. i guess he was still mad cause he text me back saying "whatever." i didnt say anything back & the whole next day i left him alone so he could cool off. around 8pm i text him telling him that i knew something was wrong & that he could talk to me about it & he told me that he wanted to break up. i was shocked & heart broken once again. i had no idea what had happend & he said he doesnt want to talk about it. i really love him & i want to find a way to make him feel better & talk to him about the situation without making him feel uncomfortable. he told me the other day that he still loved me, but he needed a little time to think about things, but lately i found out that he has been hanging out with another girl. they might be just friends but i could never be to sure. i want him back & i want our relationship to be the way it once was... "HAPPY"... what should i do??? User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female Be strong Hi, wow! that's alot of drama. I have alot of drama too. and boy they are not fun at all. We pretty much have alot of things in common. Breaking up and then getting back again. In my case its because of cheating and violence (throwing things). Believe me you don't want it to get worse. It seems you are still preoccupied about the past. But you are now in the present. You are no longer in the honeymoon stage and unless he also wants to work on the relationship it is pretty much over. You said that you are young. There is so much to life that you are missing. Concentrate on your dreams and aspirations. Trust me. I have gone through so much hell because of disrespect. Once you discover what your worth is, you will better understand that you do not need someone to treat you like sh*t. Good luck and be strong. The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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