I was a jerk, pushed my ex away, but realized I do want her in my lifeWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Male Hi. I have a girl in my life that I forced to become my ex girlfriend over a year ago. I was a total mean jerk to her. Why, I don't know. She did some things to me that deserved me being angry at her, but nothing like the way I treated her. They were certainly forgivable offenses. Anyway, we still talk, and we're still rather friendly with each other. Everything except the lover talk, hugging and kissing. I've spilled my guts to her in complete honesty. Telling her that I realize I was a complete mean jerk, and that I'm very sorry for the pain I have caused her. I've told her a half dozen times that I really want another chance to right things if she could find the compassion. She refuses to give me a straight up answer about this. All she can ever muster is "I don't know what I want". Leaving me in limbo. I really want this woman in my life, but I'm also willing to move on if that's what she wants. But I don't want to move on with this glimmer of hope still in my heart that things can be worked out between us. My most recent questions to her have been asking for this closure. I most recently told her, "look, I realize I've made a huge mess of things between us, and I'm very sorry. If I have done too much damage to be repaired, I need you to tell me. Please. So you and I both can have closure on this and move on. I've stuck a knife in my own back where I can't reach it, and I'm begging you to pull it out before you turn and walk away. You don't have to be mean about it. Just simply say, you've caused me to much grief to be overcome. I'm sorry." She refuses to give me a straight answer here as well. All she can say is she doesn't know what she wants. How can I coax her into giving me another chance, or giving me this closure I feel that I so desperately need? Thank you. User Submitted Advice from a 13-20 year old Male Give her space There really is no easy way to get past this. Sometimes you can tell someone exactly how you feel and it doesn't change a thing. You don't have to wait either, it's probably she is scared, and doesn't know how to answer or react. It's possible she doesn't want to hurt your feelings, and moving on by leaving her like that can really hurt her as well as you. Instead of spilling your guts out all the time, try and give her space. Don't leave her life entirely, because regret comes in. Just, stay a part of her life, let her experiment, let her do things. Let her think by herself without all these different thoughts coming in and out. Let her think, give her space to think, not leaving her entirely, stay in her life. You have to start from scratch again, don't do anything hasty, or else you really will your chance. The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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