I Can't Leave my RelationshipWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Male I'm currently in a relationship that I am not really happy in. For starters I was kind of tricked into getting back in this relationship. We had broken up because I just realized I needed to experience life on my own and I'm too young for a serious relationship. My mistake was still seeing her every once in a while after we broke up and when I started having feelings for another girl she really took it hard. She never really got over me and is really obsessed with me so she would always cry hysterically to make me feel like a bad guy. Then she tricked me and said she was pregnant, so I felt I had to get back in a relationship with her. Two weeks later while at work, she called me and told me she had a miscarriage. I never saw any forms from the hospital and turns out she never had a pregnancy test done and she just assumed she was pregnant. So now I'm back where I didn't want to be and what makes it wosrt is that she has no family she really gets along with, no friends, she has no one to go to and I feel the responsibility to stay in this relationship even though deep down I really down want to. I'm with her because if she didn't have me she would probably not make it. I've tried to break up with her a few more times but then she just starts crying over and over, then I start to feel sorry and I tell her that I'll stay around and try to work it out. What should I do about this relationship? I'm very unhappy, almost at a state of depression. I tend not to care about anything now, not even my appearance and I'm always down. But on the other hand, I can't stand to see her cry. Help me Please! User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female I'm sorry you are in such a troubling situation. The truth is you aren't responsible for this girl's well being. She may not realize it but what she is doing is manipulative and unacceptable. My advice to you is to break off the relationship with no ambiguity. Tell her you don't want to see her any more, and that it would be best to end all contact. Be careful not to fall into the trap of trying to be her friend. As hard as it is to see her cry, keep in mind that you are doing her a favor in the long run--unhealthy attachment to a man is not the best situation for her. She needs to feel happy and secure in her own life before being involved in a relationship (Men are the dessert!) If she threatens suicide or something similar, DO NOT go back to her, otherwise she'll think that it will always work. Call 911 or her parents if you feel there is real danger. It is important NOT to encourage her, even answeing her phone calls will give her a ray of hope. It will hurt less for her in the long run if you don't drag it out, trust me on this. You owe it to yourself to be happy and not trapped. Let us know how it goes. The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
|