Emotionally CheatingWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 41-50 year old Female Married for 17 years, three beautiful children. Husband loves me but is not "in love" with me...hasn't been since before last "make up" baby was conceived. I've been to counseling...for over 10 years. Therapist says one day I will realize that hitting my head against a brick wall is going to hurt and I will choose to stop. Husband won't go to therapy doesn't see a problem. We haven't had sex in seven years...not that I don't try!! He just isn't interested anymore. Thru fate, a guy I dated in high school happened to get ahold of me...he is married too but not happily. What started out as simple flirting back and forth has gotten to the point that I need to hear from him every day. He makes my heart soar. Don't know if we'll ever actually get to see each other...he's 1,000 miles away...but I have put in time, effort and too many tears in my "marriage" that I feel like I deserve to enjoy this attention from a beau from 20+ years ago...or am I wrong? And does wanting to have an affair make me as guilty as actually having one? Right now my marriage is nothing more than a room mate situation with children. We don't even sleep in the same room (we tell the children it's because of his snoring)...I'm so lonely for male attention...but I have NEVER really cheated...not yet. Please help! Any advice...and like I've said...I've been going to therapy for 10 years. User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Male Don't tell I am in the same situation with a girl from college. We are both married 11 years with children. Once we reconected, we learned that our love for each other never left our hearts. It was easy to fall in love again, but it has almost destroyed us both. The heartache and guilt alone will get you. The one good thing I got out of this experience, was that I realized that I needed something more out of my marriage and was able to communicate that to my wife. Since then we have been trying harder to make things better. In our case, our children consumed us and we never had a chance to be the couple we were before they came along. Now we hired a sitter and we enjoy some much needed time alone. You need this kind of a balance in a marriage. And whatever you do… don't tell your spouse if you strayed. Sometimes it's better to let sleeping dogs sleep. The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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