The Issue of TrustWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female My ex-boyfriend and I have had an off again on again relationship for the past 8-9 years. More off than on. When I was younger, 18, we dated for a few years off and on during which time I cheated and was dishonest. We had a period of about 3.5 yrs where we did not date and were just friends, or so I thought. Recently, we attempted once again to pursue a romantic relationship... After a few months he said we should just be friends again because he does not trust me because of what happened all those years ago. We've talked about the past and I'm truly sorry that I hurt him and I've made attempts to show him I am different, but during this time he distanced himself, treated me very "unfriendly" like, and seemed unconcerned with how I felt about the situation. Even though we continued to see each other occasionally and have had an intimate relationship. He says he has forgiven me, but he does not trust me. He says he is in love with me and that the trust issue is the only issue that is keeping us apart. Now he just calls me up to talk like we are buddies again. And it really bothers me because how can he claim to be my "friend" when he can't trust me. Trust is the basis for any relationship and I feel that if he can not trust me then he can not be a friend to me. How can he be my friend when he's not willing to get to know me as a person. How can he be a friend to me if he believes all these negative things about me? Am I wrong for feeling this way? User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female Trust I believe that when you love someone deep, you can overcome the trust that has been broken, it takes time and lots of work, but it can be done.. to love you must learn to forgive, to forgive doesn't mean you forget but you learn to put it behind you and move on. Anything is possible. The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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