Cheat or notWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female I dont know what to do. I have been with my husband for 5 years, married for going on 2. i love him alot, however we do have some problems. we have are both young, and we have a small child. i cant really honestly say if we would even be together still if we didnt have the baby. recently, we have been having some arguements and problems, but he genuinely seems to want to work things out with me. he wants us to be together and be happy and have a family. my feelings right now are sort of odd. i often feel that is more of a friend or companion then lover, and i dont really have a sex drive toward him much anymore. Now, the main part of my problem is a guy i know at work. we flirt alot at work, as do alot of people at my workplace, just innocent fun to pass the day away. however, i feel i have been developing feelings for him, like i always want to look nice when i see him, doing things that are unlike me like showing him my underwear ect. our conversations have become very sexual, and i think about him during sex with my husband. This guy is also involved in a long term relationship, not married but in a relationship. however i do find myself considering meeting him or something to have sex with him, which he is interested in doing and we have talked about. i feel guilty and i dont want to be an unfaithful wife, i just cant understand my feelings. For example am i just trying to understand my own feelings do i not love my husband anymore and could i have something for this guy or am i just trying to replace attention and feelings that i am lacking in my marriage with someone else? because of course it is a big ego boost to have someone want you so bad as this guy does. a part of me wants to go and be with this guy, as i feel i only live once. on the other hand, i do value my family and relationship i have with my husband despite problems we may face. however, at this point i feel its wrong because i have been thinking of this other guy so often.... and i honestly dont want to give it up, i dont know what to do..... User Submitted Advice from a 31-40 year old Female Marriages go through alot of up's and down's..the passion of the first kiss ..and the glitz and glimmer of romance is diffent when you have to pay bills, clean house, take care of children and/or hold down a 9-5 job....the good news is that if you put in the work and effort over time your relationship can turn into something even more meaningful and loving than you ever imagined...often when couples get to this rough patch (where you are presently) ..they look for greener pastures...but the pastures rarely stay green for very long,and a new set of problems emerges...couples are most times better off working out the difficulties and holding onto one another and cherishing the relationship...there is a certain pride that comes with working through life's challenges as a couple... I urge you not to be taken into the notion that outside of your marriage Mr.Wonderful awaits you....cheating is a lazy self indulgent answer...take the high road..you and your family deserve it! I wish you love! The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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