I Drove her Away - I Want her Back NowWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male I have a problem where although I want a serious, fully committed relationship, when I'm actually in one, I don't want it, although I feel that the person is right for me. This was my first girlfriend and I ended up hurting her a lot because I have first said, "I would want to stay with her forever," and then I ended up saying, "I'm stuck with you until I find someone better to replace you." as I think back, I don't know why I even said I want someone else. Now that I don't have her, I want her back, but because I hurt her too much, she won't take me back. The problem doesn't end here. This is bothering me consciously and subconsciously that I hurt her and I can't seem to sleep (I wake up randomly at nights when I subconsciously think about her) and I have turned bellimic. Please, I don't know what to do. Should I tell her my problem and beg her to come back to me or what can I do to get over this relationship? (It's been over a month since we broke up) User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Female If you love her try I think you yourself need to know whether you really love your girlfriend or whether you want her back because she's no more yours or because you haven't 'found someone better to replace her'. If you are sure that you love her and want her back, then there's some work to do. After hurting her the way you did, you need to convince her that you truly love and appreciate her and more importantly, that you can be trusted. Talk to her and explain your behaviour (commitmentphobia or claustrophobia or something). You'll need patience, persistence and innovative romantic ideas. You may still not get her back, but if you love her you must try. Good luck! NT The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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