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We often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male My girlfriend and I been together in a serious relationship for almost two years now. I don’t why, but I always had this intuition that she never really broke up with her previous boyfriend when we first started dating. In the beginning I had asked her if she had a boyfriend and if she did, was it over between them, she said yes. Well I think 8 months into the relationship, I decided to check her e-mails (I know it was the wrong thing to do). I found that the first few months of our relationship, she was still in contact with this previous guy (who was overseas), and from the e-mails it did not look like she ended the relationship with him. I was so furious at that time wanted to confront her about it. The only thing I did was ask her if she did really break up with him when we first got together, and again she lied to me. I let go of the issue even though I knew she lied. You see she was the best thing that had ever happened to me and I was so afraid to kill the relationship by pushing it. So I kept it to myself and pretended nothing ever happened. After all it did not look like she contacted him anymore. 12 months into the relationship we had a very big fight. For some reason I decided to check her computer again and found she had sent photos of herself to this previous guy. She some how figured out that I was snooping around with her computer but I denied it. I thought that was the end of that situation, but things started to degrade between us. Over the last two months she some how changed. She was picking fights with me over silly things, ignoring me, had a defensive attitude, saying nasty things to me, even though I was still sweet and nice to her. So I asked her what the problem was and if she wanted to continue this relationship. She kept going on how she did not know what she wanted anymore. Last week we had another fight and she said something has been eating her up inside of her and did not know if she wanted to continue this relationship. I decided to come clean about snooping through her e-mail. She said she had an idea that I did that and that is why she was acting the way she did over the last two months. She said to me that If I had known this all this while why I never confronted her. I told her my reasons why I did not want to confront her, because I did not want to loose her. She said she could not trust me anymore, and she could not be with anyone she could not trust. So she dumped me. My only thought is this, can’t she see I was willing to over look it, so I could be with her. It has been a week, since she dumped me. Is there a way I can make it up to her? Her main reason of breaking it off with me is trust. How can I gain back her trust? User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Male It falls on me I'm the guy who orignaly posted the question. I heard that guys should never make desperate or needy remarks or actions when they are trying to win back their ex girlfriend. This will turn them off and they will distance themselves futher away from you. I've already tried telling her that she can trust me in the future, on the same day she was dumping me, but it did not work. I really don't know what to do. I call her sometimes and she does too, but only as friends (Hi, how are you?). I really don't know what to do now. From the sense of things I think she is feeling really guilty for dumping me. Is that good or bad? I know her, even if she wants me back, she will never make the first move. That is just the way she is. She rather do nothing or say nothing. So it really falls on me, to do something. The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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