She was the first girl in 3 years i let get anywhere near close to me and i still had barriers up to protect myself. Throughout the relationship i never missed her, maybe i stopped myself from feeling out of fear of getting hurt? But now I miss a lot. Maybe it is just her companionship i miss i cant give an answer to that, but there is something i really miss about her. How could I not miss her while were together and now I miss her more than ever?
When you were young, did you ever have any toys that you liked, but never really played with that much? Did this toy ever break or did you lose it, and you felt horrible about it?
My point is, have you ever heard the old saying "You never know what you have, until its gone."
Its true, the things we take for granted are the ones that we never should have. We're all guilty of this. Sometimes we don't even realize it until its no longer a part of our lives.
The barriers we make are what keep us safe from the slings and arrows of life, but sometimes these barriers are so powerful, they can even stop the softest touch from someone else.
I can't help but think that because I didn't really chase her in the relationship and maybe she got scared and thought "he don't like me as much as I like him" and she put barriers up to protect herself? That may be completely wrong but she done most of the chasing and I done hardly any.
All women are different. Some like to be chased, others hate it. Some like to be teased and treated like pals more so than mates. Some will accept the things you like, others will try their hardest to like it, some will flat out tell you they hate all the things you like. Some like to go out, some stay in. Some will even go as far as play hard to get until you propose. I honestly don't think that she was afraid that you didn't like her, but I think she was afraid because she was beginning to like you.
I don't know how you are in real life, but if you're anything like me, it can be difficult for anyone to get to know the true us because of how you may portray yourself. For instance, being mysterious and never telling the whole truth about yourself, the music/movies you like, the way you speak, the company you keep, even the things you like to do in your spare time, these things add up. Women subconsciously pick up on this as well, and determine everything depending on what they see, and what you tell them. Sometimes what they pick up on is incredibly wrong, but its what they determine.
I told her everything, it was a very long txt. I told her how I have been confused about how I feel about her but in the last 2 weeks or so my feelings have got stronger for her and i realise now that I want to be with her. These are things i never told her when we were together. I told her that i dont expect anything from her and that I had to take a chance with her by telling her how i felt. I also said it would be good to know how she feels either way.
The way i see it i got tired of sitting here wondering how she feels. Somone had to take that leap of faith so I done it. What kind of a guy whould I be if couldn't tell a woman how I felt about her? Atleast now I have gave her something to think about. I have put the ball in her court and wemt on the offensive for a change. Even If she doesn't get back to me then I still have my answer. if she gets back to me then again I have my answer, either way it is better than not knowing.
Taking this step is the hardest. You're basically taking off your armor and spray painting a target over your heart. Sometimes you need to go all out and bet it all on the table, waiting to see if you win big, or go home.
I would have suggested that instead of texting this to her, that you would have spoken to her on the phone or in person, however this is just how I would have done it. I'm a very "up in your face" kinda person. :p but still as long as its said, it doesn't matter how you do it. This is always the most difficult thing to ever do, and I know where you're coming from on this one.
The last piece of advice I can give you is this... and please forgive me if I sound a little crude or crass.
You need to prepare yourself mentally for what her answer could be. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Practice the scenario in your head. Practice what you'll say to her in the event of a "no" and also in the event of a "yes." You can never be fully prepared, but at least you'll have some ammo to protect yourself.
I do hope she gives you another chance. Truly I do, but be prepared man... be prepared.
