I did get out of her that she misses me, loves being around me
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old MaleMy fiancee left me almost 6 wks ago.Without warning without any hint.We have 2 boys(ages 3,4)We lived about an hour from the towns that our parents live.How we got together was like a fairy tale. She had a fiancee,Iwas then married w/2 children.We both left our mates for eachother. I wont get into details but we were ultimately together for almost 6yrs. You can imagine the history there. We got along very well, always laughed, were there for eachother. Within 3yrs of being together we had 2 children. Anyway, daycare expenses where we were living were ridiculous. We were paying $292/week to the daycare. We both worked but with rent and a high car payment it eventually took its toll. The day before she left our car got repossessed.But after the initial shock we were fine(or so I thought) we were still laughing and being close.We had been through tough financial times before and I always found a way to borrow the money from my family. We're talkin 500 here 750 here 1000 here.Anyway the morning after our car was repossessed,her mother came to visit. I had walked to the store to get bottled water for my fiancee. When I came back my ex said "ok, my moms gonna take us in for awhile until we get back on our feet." Now we both had good jobs(neither even close to within walking distance)She was set on leaving hers.the problem with me leaving mine was I paid child support for children from my previous marriage. I said I dont think i can go because I have to find a way to get to work so my ex doesnt take me to court for missing a payment(which she had done several times before)when i said that all the sudden it went from we could go with my mom to Me and the kids are going w/my mom and I need some space to see if I want to be with you or not. So she left,the next day I couldnt bear it and called my mom to pick me up and I moved in with her. I understand that financial problems overwhealmed her but our "connection" was still strong. Well I did the whole calling her everyday,saying I Love you,I miss you, I'll change things. And I pushed away even further. I told her that i want work on things and fight for my family. She said she doesnt know what the future will bring and I should work on myself and live my life as if we were not going to be together.Ive read your forum entries and I know to not call or contact. but the thing is that we have 2 boys that I am very close to. and when I call about arrangements to pick them up or talk to them, I end up doing the same groveling to her that Ive done for weeks. She is not a mushy person, she bottles emotions up and acts strong. I did get out of her that she misses me, loves being around me, and thinks about me daily. But she doesnt want to talk about anything. Should I just move on after all our history and our kids? she assurred me there was no one else. Im skeptical because its a small town and she is a definite "10" Men would even approach her while we were in the store holding hands. I just dont know what to do at this point. Im a mess. Cant sleep, am losing weight from loss of appetite, and the memories flood my mind 24hrs a day. Please any insight or similar past experiences would help.
RomanceClass.com AdviceI'm sorry you are in this situation.
I may be wrong but you don't seem to be very motivated to cut back on expenses.
There is no reason to have car payments. You can buy a decent car for $1200 if you look around and use www.kbb.com. Who is watching your kids now... are they still going to a daycare center? How about finding some woman who loves children to come ih and watch them at your home? And, have you thought about getting a second job? With both of you having jobs, you should be able to work out your finances better than you have. Go without cable. Look at your insurance coverages and see if you can do better. Make sure you have $400,000 life insurance at least. Your wife would appreciate that. Take your own meals to work instead of eating out. Cut way back on dining out.
Get a second job, continue living with your parents, save up some serious cash and then your wife will probably take you back. Be sure to stay close to your children as they are missing you very much right now.
Take this as a serious challenge, start building up some assets and get your life in order. Your wife has to see you have a fire in you.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com
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Complicated
