I did get out of her that she misses me, loves being around meWe often have visitors write in with solutions to each others' problems. Here is a visitor's solution to one of our visitor's questions. Original Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Male My fiancee left me almost 6 wks ago.Without warning without any hint.We have 2 boys(ages 3,4)We lived about an hour from the towns that our parents live.How we got together was like a fairy tale. She had a fiancee,Iwas then married w/2 children.We both left our mates for eachother. I wont get into details but we were ultimately together for almost 6yrs. You can imagine the history there. We got along very well, always laughed, were there for eachother. Within 3yrs of being together we had 2 children. Anyway, daycare expenses where we were living were ridiculous. We were paying $292/week to the daycare. We both worked but with rent and a high car payment it eventually took its toll. The day before she left our car got repossessed.But after the initial shock we were fine(or so I thought) we were still laughing and being close.We had been through tough financial times before and I always found a way to borrow the money from my family. We're talkin 500 here 750 here 1000 here.Anyway the morning after our car was repossessed,her mother came to visit. I had walked to the store to get bottled water for my fiancee. When I came back my ex said "ok, my moms gonna take us in for awhile until we get back on our feet." Now we both had good jobs(neither even close to within walking distance)She was set on leaving hers.the problem with me leaving mine was I paid child support for children from my previous marriage. I said I dont think i can go because I have to find a way to get to work so my ex doesnt take me to court for missing a payment(which she had done several times before)when i said that all the sudden it went from we could go with my mom to Me and the kids are going w/my mom and I need some space to see if I want to be with you or not. So she left,the next day I couldnt bear it and called my mom to pick me up and I moved in with her. I understand that financial problems overwhealmed her but our "connection" was still strong. Well I did the whole calling her everyday,saying I Love you,I miss you, I'll change things. And I pushed away even further. I told her that i want work on things and fight for my family. She said she doesnt know what the future will bring and I should work on myself and live my life as if we were not going to be together.Ive read your forum entries and I know to not call or contact. but the thing is that we have 2 boys that I am very close to. and when I call about arrangements to pick them up or talk to them, I end up doing the same groveling to her that Ive done for weeks. She is not a mushy person, she bottles emotions up and acts strong. I did get out of her that she misses me, loves being around me, and thinks about me daily. But she doesnt want to talk about anything. Should I just move on after all our history and our kids? she assurred me there was no one else. Im skeptical because its a small town and she is a definite "10" Men would even approach her while we were in the store holding hands. I just dont know what to do at this point. Im a mess. Cant sleep, am losing weight from loss of appetite, and the memories flood my mind 24hrs a day. Please any insight or similar past experiences would help. User Submitted Advice from a 21-30 year old Male Complicated I offered several times to get a second job. My fiancee said I couldnt because it would raise the daycare expenses because of income. Every single day I got the local newspaper and we would read it together. I pointed out cheaper apartments and cheaper cars everyday.She just would not talk to me about anything. Well I talked to her today and it went from finances to things that had happenned within months of us getting together. Her sister was a friend of her exfiancee who went to prison for selling cocaine shortly after us hooking up. He would write her sister letters(talking about my girl) My exs sister lived with their mom at the time and i got word that she was reading letters outloud to my fiancee. obviously I didnt approve.So now(6 yrs later) it comes out of her that I didnt want her to see her mom. This is ridiculous.Her mom loved me and I loved her. Her mom and I would hang out for extended periods of time and she said I was the best thing that ever happenned to her daughter. She said she has never seen her so happy. Anyway, I just think that the space thing she said was just a way of her ending it without guilt on her part. But I'm left in the balance. How does your fiancee of years just throw you aside like garbage and refuse to talk when the same day she left we were laughing together, had sex, did the same things we do everyday. I just dont get it and I'm actually starting to get angry and I think the only way I can move on is get with someone else(which isnt hard in these small towns)but I dont want to jeaprodize anything that might be between us in the future. I mean we were together for 6 yrs,have 2 awesome kids together. Am I wrong for wanting to work on things? Or should I just move on? I would love not to contact her, and let her contact me, but daily I am missing my boys and calling just to talk to them, then she gets on the phone, and as soon as I hear her voice, Im sunk.I think the financial situation was maybe just a leappad for how she has been feeling for awhile. We've now been through Halloween and Thanksgiving without contact. I dont know if Im gonna be able to survive Christmas without my family. Sorry so long, but this is a complicated one. The Original Question and RomanceClass Answer
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