Does Losing your Virginity Hurt?

Visitor's Question from a 13-15 year old Female
How much does it hurt for a teenage girl to lose her virginity and how does she know if she's ready?

RomanceClass.com Advice
I'll answer the physical question first. Girls have a protective "thin skin" that protects their vagina from infection. This can be thick or thin, and actually for many girls this is broken through normal activity like bike riding or horseback riding. So many girls don't have any 'breakage' at all with their first intercourse. The ones that do have the tearing of that thin skin. Think of it sort of like piercing your ears, but with much thinner skin. It's not that painful. And since sex, if done with tenderness and care, is really pleasureable, it's but a small twinge in that feeling.

Knowing you're ready is a MUCH more important thing. You probably don't think about it much at the time, but the moment you lose your virginity is really something you remember for the Rest of Your Entire Life. It's something friends always ask you about. It's something new boyfriends ask you about. It's something your kids, if you have kids, are really eager to know. It's one of those Turning Moments in your life. And if it's a decision you make poorly, it's something that can haunt you for the rest of your life. "I lost my virginity in a slimy hotel". "I gave it up in the back seat of a car." It might seem like a fun adventure at the time, but after a few months it begins to feel really ... icky and nasty.

Never let anyone pressure you into anything. The perfect sex is about you feeling REALLY GOOD. Sex is about feeling great about YOURSELF. If someone has to talk you into it, it's WRONG. If the situation feels uncomfortable, it's WRONG. Life is way too short to be doing things that you don't enjoy. It's YOUR life, it's YOUR body. Wait until it's someone that you are REALLY comfortable with, that you love being with, that you love touching, that you love touching you, and that you're in a PLACE that you feel totally comfortable.

Believe me, you'll know it when you find it, and when you find the right partner. In that situation, it can be a completely amazing experience. If instead, you let someone pressure you (even gently with "I really love you!") then you'll feel icky for the rest of your life, and something which could have been beautiful and romantic will now be forever tainted.

-- from Jenn
One of Your Friendly Advisors at RomanceClass.com

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