Hello Birdygirly :)
You said on another thread:
[quote=birdygirly016]... the situation was not resolved as speedily as it should have been, I was stuck between a rock and a hard place, but it's over now =D) [/quote]
So, what I am wondering is whether the problem with him truly is over, but that you still have the awful memories to deal with, or whether the problem isn't completely resolved, because there is a chance that he might return?
You say:
[quote]sometimes he will call me and tell me he is coming home soon[/quote]
Is this real, or is it only in your dreams?
If the 'nightmare' is definitely only in your dreams, then perhaps you need counselling or similar help.
If the 'nightmare' is in any way still real, then you also need more active help & protection.
Has something happened to bring this to the fore, now?
You say:
[quote]'The past is the past, I don’t know how to face it in a productive way.'[/quote]
According to what I have read, etc, there are two points of view on this sort of thing.
One view is to simply accept that something bad has happened, but also accept that it is now over, so it is best not to dwell on the ills of the past, but to enjoy life as it now is.
The other view is that, after having suffered pain, one will never be able to enjoy life fully, unless and until one has faced the demons of one's past.
I think that something between the two might be best, but it probably depends on the individual.
As Carl said: [quote]'As for what the dreams mean, I suspect... that there are unresolved fears and tensions' ...[/quote]
So it sounds as if you do need to face the past, resolve the problems and get some kind of 'closure', as therapists tend to say.
Then, provided there is no real danger, you can probably leave this where it belongs and start to enjoy your life to the full.
For a bit of self-help there are a few things you might like to try. They can result in becoming very emotional, and even frightened by emotions, but they can get some of the repressed feelings out. I suggest doing them only if you feel very safe and have someone you love and trust with you.
These sound very simple, but can become quite intense.
One is to take a wet (not dripping) towel and hit it against a (suitable) wall a number of times.
Another is to take a big soft cushion, and keep punching it until you feel better.
Then there's the letter-writing exercise, that you have probably heard of, where you write down all the things that are bothering you, but don't send the letter ~ just rip it up.
Then there's the exercise where you make yourself remember individual negative events, acknowledge them to yourself, acknowledge to yourself that they were bad but that they are now gone, and 'throw the thoughts away'.
See how you feel about them.
Sometimes people have to be careful with this sort of thing. Some therapists recommend that one only do this if guided by them, so it might be a good idea to see a counsellor and get some advice.
Good luck & take care :)
