I am just afraid that my parents will be angry. And if they wouldn't be angry for what happened, they would be mad i didn't speak up. My parents are very old fashioned people though, and they would be very disappointed in my regardless.
I know nobody is perfect. there is just a lot of pressure on me to be perfect.
I have confided everything into Matthew. He knows most of the gruesome details. I trust him and we know everything about eachothers past. Especially the parts where we just needed someone to listen, not judge, just listen.
I don't know how long this burden will be carried. I wish I could just set it down and leave it forever, but I know that will never happen. I just fear that he will come back, I will see him, and then all you-know-what will break loose. The thought of him coming home gives me that icy feeling in my stomach. The feeling when you know something bad is gonna happen.
