Just some initial thoughts on your response:
... Some part of me enjoyed (and maybe still does) knowing that even though he has moved on with someone else he still thinks of me every now and then. .... It's like it tears me in half because part of me STILL want to hear his voice and his lies.....
... the emotional part that I thought would fade sooner is still there ...
To EVERYONE I should be over this..and I'm not.
Maybe this is a big part ~ the biggest part ~ of your problem.
Do you think it could be?
I just want it to go away, but it wont.
How much is that because of him, and how much because of you, do you think?
