Long story short, but a quick update: We are getting counseling. Problem is, NY insurance does not cover divorce counseling. So.. I don't know how it's going to go and what we're going to go ahead and do. We both have the same thing in mind, we don't want a counselor who is looking to force the relationship to work at all costs.
I'm not sure what the real goal of the counseling will be, I just know that I need help. I've come to the realization that my personal life changes has caused a complete destruction of my support systems and that this has become a major contributor to my confusion. I literally have no one to go to. Friends and family are all fairly judgmental of me and can not permit divorce under such "trivial" differences such as irreconcilably differences ( as Steve has coined them...).
I hit a wall pretty hard. Me and Steve had a fight, to which the new love interest, Brad, was witness of. I broke down and ended up hurting both of them with my words. I went to bed, re-called Steve and asked him if he thought I was insane for going with another man like I am. I felt like I was having a complete mental break down, so we decided that, even if I didn't go with Brad, that we desperately needed counselling to make sure we can get through this divorce (or whatever it becomes) with our sanity and emotions as intact as possible.
On a side note...
I'm going to Israel for 2 weeks in January. I had considered canceling it and using the money for counseling... but everyone is telling me that for my own well-being and happiness (being it something I've always wanted to do) and for my education advancement, I need to go. I'm looking forward to it as my own personal journey and self-examining experience.
