More and more detail doesn't keep our thoughts from going back to the one thing about all of this that keeps standing out:
Why you thought and still think that you have no chance to tell her how you really feel.
Most Romance novels have a twist or two or three that invariably result from poor communication/understanding of what the other thinks, feels, or even the meaning of what the other says.
Did/do you feel you had/have no chance to speak of your feelings because of the past bf/present bf?
While I suppose it is considered poor form to "hit" on someone who is in a relationship, it could well be true that she has also felt that she should say nothing to you.
Since you have talked often, I think you owe it to yourself, and possibly her to admit that while her friendship has always and wil always remain important, had she been free you would have pursued a romantic interest in her.
Sounds like the time she spoke about being sorry, you perhaps shouldn't have blithely acted as if you didn't know what she meant.
Maybe one of you needs to speak openly.
Or move on.
