I can understand your confusion.
But advice to the lovelorn is necessarily based on a one-sided view of what is happening. The intuition that CM had that she probably knew just how you felt, even with you not openly declaring yourself, was what probably suggested the first advice of forgetting about her.
The addendum you mentioned of her saying she was sorry, and you acting as if you did not know what she meant added another fact.
Perhaps she felt drawn to you, also, but felt disloyal to the relationship she already was in.
The phrase, "all's fair in love..." can cover a lot of bad, but there is an important truth with in the meaning.
Only the one involved can know the depth and intensity and permancence of the love that you feel. Yes, love must sometimes remain unrequited. But many times it remains that way because one or both fears rejection or worse - to be mocked or humiliated.
Yes, it would probably have been better to speak to her of your feelings while you were there, or when you had more immediate plans to be back in the area.
Yet, you have spoken many times via the computer. I still think my suggestion of what to say to her would break the ice.
I don't think she would laugh at you, or turn cold toward you. You should know her well enough to know whether she would do that. Perhaps the worst that could happen would be that she would confess that she only sees you as a friend, and would prefer to keep your relationship on the platonic friendship level.
Only you can decide if you want your love to be returned and have a chance to grow.
Relationships have become successful that started from a distance.
Other saying goes something like this: "Faint heart never won the fair maiden." "Better to have loved and lost than never to have known love."
I'm cheering you on. And we would commiserate with you if the answer brings sadness.
