Hello everyone.
I told her.
I told her how I felt about her. But I think I made my situation worst. I was hoping that when I told her then I would feel better/releaved... but it's not what I had expected.
I asked her first if she went out [with her "b/f"] (it's a bank holiday over there) and she said "yes". And I asked her if he was definetly her b/f now and the answer was "Yes"... and she told me that she wasn't going out with him because she was lonely or anything. I asked her if she really liked him and she said "hmm" as in "yes" again.
So... I just held my breath and just told her. And well... I guess she was a bit shocked because she said she didn't know what to say at first. She said that she was sorry. She told me that she always felt good about me... and after telling her how I really felt about her, she said that she saw that I had a lot of girls who already liked me, so she was afraid to think that I would like her.
But (I told her that) in fact, it may have been true that a few girls did like me, but I never felt anything for any girl... except for her.
She could only say that she was sorry. But I guess it's understandable for her not to know what to say.
Now,... wasn't I supposed to feel better or releaved by telling her??? I mean... I would probably be feeling much better if she said something like... "Sorry, but I've only thought of you as a friend".
I really got the feeling that if I had told her before or if I was still there when her old b/f broke up with her... I could have had a really good chance. But I didn't and I wasn't there!
...It's like someone's playing games with me again!
I really feel like...-_-"...
Can someone hit me over the head with a sledge hammer.. or better still.. run me over with a double decker bus... -_-"
I guess that's another sad end to a chapter in my love life.
.. but again, thanks for the comments and advice. I really appreciate it.
