Hi Raven
When you feel tense, it is hard to eat. It's pretty much the same for everyone.
You must be feeling tied in knots about this boy and his confused feelings for you and the other girl. This will affect your ability to eat. Try very small portions of fruits and vegetables that you like. Just a little, as often as you can. Juices, too.
It's good that you still feel so positive towards him. After all, he cannot help who he likes and connects with. This happens on a subconscious, not a conscious, level. He is obviously very fond of you.
What the future holds for your relationship, I cannot know. You are very young, and usually people do not stay with their first loves ~ but sometimes they do, and that is very special. Remember, though, that if you drift apart it is meant to be, and that forcing yourselves to stay together would make both of you unhappy long term. Just see how it goes and try not to let worry get in the way of enjoying your relationship.
If anyone tries hard
not to do something, they very often
will do it. That's how the brain works. If someone is on a weight loss diet, they will be more drawn to fattening food than if they just allow themselves to eat whatever they want. Worrying about those scratches will not make things better for you, so it's best to just accept that it happened, but be grateful and pleased that you have conquered this as well as you have. Your boyfriend would get upset because he cares.
What are your hobbies?
What are you good at?
Are you an artist?
Concentrate on the positives in your life. Acknowledge the negatives ~ otherwise they will just push into your mind anyway ~ but then go back to things that make you feel good. Positive music. Painting / drawing. Picking flowers and arranging them. Anything like that.
In fact, I would really recommend planting flowers and shrubs and tending them. Tending new life, like this, is therapeutic and the results are beautiful and positive. You could even try growing fruit and vegetables for yourself. (Protect them from pests, don't use anything poisonous on them, and only eat things that you recognise and are safe.)
Take care
