Jo made me think.

Perhaps it would be a good idea to sort out what you have posted, MW1, so that we can look at different areas.

I hope that this may help:

As a child you worked hard to make your parents happy.
You worked to make your friends happy.
Your 'world came crashing down'.
You lost all my friends because you were relying on them too much.
You became severely depressed.
You took little care of yourself.
You didn't eat properly ~ to the point of causing ill-health.
You drank a lot and would even black out.
You were self-harming.
You wanted to run away from your life.
You met your current husband.
You began to feel happy.
You dated your husband through college.
It was a long-distance relationship.
You were happy in college, but didn't make any real friends.
You started doing things just to please him and make him happy ~ including changing your look.
You did this regardless of whether or not this pleased you.
You got married when you were about 17.
Things have been rough for you over the past year or two.
About 18 months ago your husband realised that he was unhappy in his work.
He lost interest in doing anything, seeing people, or going out.
You have been encouraging him to find another job.
You used to watch a couple of TV programmes together
He stopped enjoying them.
You had a job working away all of the time ~ but not far from home.
About a year ago, you lost your job.
You turned to drink and came close to losing control of your life completely.
About a year ago you realised that you had always tried to make others happy, but not yourself, so you decided to start doing things that made you happy.
These things, though, made your husband unhappy.
You decided to watch the TV programmes that your husband no longer liked.
He told you to watch your favourite TV shows in another room, without him.
You started going for counselling and getting the medical help that you need.
You have been getting to know people and you made some new friends.
You have been trying to sort out the problems with your parents.
You have been trying to deal with your eating and drinking disorders.
You thought that your relationship with your husband was ok.
You thought that your future was together and that you would grow old together
Your husband felt aggrieved that you talked to a counselor, rather than to him.
He didn't understand why you needed other people ~ other than him.
He felt bothered that you wanted to make friends, when you already have him.
It took a while for you to find work, but, after getting a temporary contract, you finally found a new job that you love.
You tried to help your husband to cheer up and to become interested in his life again, but nothing seemed to work
You thought that your husband seemed to be suffering from depression.
You recommended counselling, but he didn't feel; that he needed any.
You have suffered with depression, yourself, and alcohol can still be a problem at times.
Your new job involves a lot of travel, all over the world ~ about 30% of the time.
You went away for 15 days, recently, and you loved it.
You can't wait to travel again.
This bothers your husband.
You may even be willing to consider promotion in your new job, which might involve more travel ~ about 40% of the time.
Your husband is not happy with this.
You love your new job and find it exciting.
Your husband is not happy about this.
Your husband seems to enjoy watching tv and playing on the computer.
Your husband has now found a new job.
He says that he is going to start going out and doing things that will make him feel happy
Your husband wants children soon ~ before he is 30, as he wants to be a young father.
You had discussed, with him, the possibility of having children fairly soon.
You have now changed your mind and decided to delay having children.
You want children, but not yet.
You want to be happy.
You want him to be happy.
You feel guilty that you are causing him to feel unhappy.
You feel happy with your 'new' attitude to life and feel that you always wanted to have friends and go out and enjoy life.
You love your husband, but you are not sure that you are 'in love' with him.
You are communicating with each other about this.
He says that he is still in love with you.
He feels very sad that you aren't sure that you are in love any more.
He thinks that a trial separation could be a good idea.
He doesn't want you to stay with him of you are not in love with him.
You do not feel that your marriage is going to last.
You have doubted your marriage before, but the feeling hasn't lasted.
You feel nothing when he kisses you.
He feels that you are sleeping further and further away from him.
You feel that you have been kept away from him in bed by his body pillow.
You are now 28.
He feels old ~ going on for 30.
You still feel young ~ in your 20s.
You feel fearful, confused and unsure of what to do.
You wonder what will become of all your joint things if you separate.
You wonder if you will find anyone to share your life with again, if you separate.
You feel that he deserves someone who loves him completely.
You have looked at old photos, but they just brought up feelings that used to be present but which have not surfaced until recently.
You have a lot on your mind with your grandmother's illness and your sister's wedding.
Neither of you wants to upset the rest of the family or get pressured by the family.
You hate upsetting your husband and just want him to be happy.
You feel that you are at fault for causing him pain.
You feel that he needs someone to talk to.

"The secret of success is constancy to purpose" - Benjamin Disraeli.