I am extremely hurt. I have told my two sisters about problems my husband and I have been having. I told my younger a few weeks ago and was later told by my husband that she was "pissed off at me for what I was doing." Given this response, I thought it best to wait to tell my older sister, whom I have always considered one of my best friends.

I told her this past Thursday and we ended up getting into an argument - she told me I was being selfish, immature, that I was blaming everyone else for my unhappiness, that I needed to be happy with myself, that I need to make a decision soon because I'm 28 and I need to think about having children, that my husband is like a brother to her, that I was a cold and insensitive person (being insensitive to her, to my husband), etc. I told her all I was looking for was some support from her - she tells me that she won't say she supports me getting a divorce or what I'm doing with/to my husband. All I wanted was someone to tell me they were sorry that I was going through a hard time and that they would be there for me if I needed someone to talk to - just the way I was there for her when she needed someone to talk to and cry to when she was going through her fertility treatments but refused to stop running 80+ miles a week. The situation only got worse when we had to go up to stay at her place for a baseball game the next day. She started asking me questions - if I was going to therapy, if we were going to marriage counseling, that I would be making a huge mistake and I wouldn't know that until 5 years down the road, that I was being mean to my husband, etc. etc. I told her she needed to stop because she was acting like a mother and that she wasn't helping the situation at all. We went to the game and had to run back to her house to pick up a couple of things - they (my older sister, her husband and her son) weren't there, we didn't wait.

I was told today by my husband that he received an email from her - she said that she hoped I got through whatever funk I was going through, that she would be calling him and talking to him, that she was writing him because she was thinking about/concerned about him, that she didn't understand why I was blaming everyone else for my unhappiness, etc. etc. She wrote my husband an email first - before me. I should have known better than to assume I would get any sort of support from my family. I'm kicking myself. She told him that you can't choose family, but if she could, she would choose him. SHE WOULD CHOOSE HIM. Needless to say I didn't need to hear all the details of the email because I was still hurt to hear that she sent him an email before me because she was thinking about him/concerned about him.

I shouldn't have expected anything else - I'm the one that's leaving. I'm the one that isn't sure she's in love with her husband anymore. I'm the one that still likes the old shows we used to watch together. I'm the one that tried to get him off the sofa and get him over his depression with being miserable with his job. Go figure after I tell him I don't think I'm in love with him anymore, that he decides to get off the sofa and do things. I'm the one that's always been the hold-up with children. I'm the one that wants to do well with my new job and really thinks I have a shot at making a difference in the Company/my life with this job! I'm the one that changed from being all relationship to being not all career, but more career now. I'm the one that currently sees if I were to make the decision to stay with my husband (i.e. just suck it up, bite my tongue, suppress any feelings, settle because that's what will not only make my husband happy, my sisters happy, everyone else happy and just screw my happiness - whatever), that I would be miserable and only end up makin him miserable in the long-run. I'm the one that's being selfish, immature, cold, insensitive, etc. etc.

But you know, thinking about making me happy is selfish and wrong because according to my sister I've blamed everyone else for my unhappiness - which I'm not sure how I've done that - it's just that in the past I derived my happiness from making others happy and never really gave it any thought as to if it was truly making me happy - but... according to my sister (and my husband based on what he has and hasn't said) that I've blamed everyone else for my unhappiness. I never thought of myself as the type that would do that - I've known I've been unhappy and I took the steps to try to make myself happy.

Wo is the husband who has the wife who wants to leave. I'm hurt by my family, angry at my family, frustrated at myself for not knowing the answer right now, confused as to whether or not I really even have the passion and desire to make the marriage work because I feel like I haven't been content in the marriage for so long - you shouldn't go home and immediately get angry at someone for just being there!