Does he make you laugh?
Do you feel that you can completely trust him?
Do you like the same music / films / hobbies/ places /foods?
Do you actually like each other?
He makes me laugh sometimes, but with how things have been lately I rarely find myself happy... not only around him, but pretty much all the time. I feel like I'm beginning to slip into a depression all over again and I can't seem to get myself out of it. I have been going to the gym and that's helped me feel a little better - but for the most part I feel sad.
I can trust him - he's always been an honest person.
We like some of the same things - but I just don't know - I don't enjoy the time we spend together when we do things together - all we talk about is my apartment and me moving out - and then I start to think about all the expenses I've got coming up - like paying for movers, getting furniture that I need (the basics - tables, chairs, etc.) and the other things I need (silverware, pots, pans, plates, cups, etc.). That just weighs on my mind - and then I'm thinking about my little sister getting married this upcoming weekend - and I know I can't talk to anyone in my family about what's going on right now (i.e. me moving out of the apartment to a house) because they don't need to be dealing with that especially the week before the wedding. In general, I guess I feel alone because I'm lying to my parents about where things are with my husband and I, I'm just a big fake person putting on a good face for everyone else and I'm tired of it and it's wearing me out. He asks me if during the trial separation I decide that because he's my best friend, that I want to stay with him because that's just easier than starting over. I told him I don't think that'd be a good idea - that I would be concerned about this coming up again later on down the road and by then we could have kids, etc. etc. Ugh.
He likes me - I like him. Only problem is that liking coming from my end isn't always there - and it's been more prevalent recently. I told my husband that I just wish he hated me because then it would make things so much easier.
I've been talking to my husband about the apartment - which is weird. He's been asking me questions about it and I've been telling him. I'm getting movers to come to my house on Friday to help me move some furniture. I'm torn with what to take - thinking I'll leave all the office furniture except for the sofa in there. I'll be taking the card-board table as my kitchen table. I'll take some furniture upstairs, but then I'm leaving everything else. I think I might start packing up some boxes this week - but I'm afraid I won't be able to do that with my husband around. He made it very clear to me that he didn't want to be around when I was moving things out - and technically packing boxes is moving things out - or at least prepping to move things out.
I'm just tired and frustrated with how nothing seems to be moving forward. I hate being stagnant - I want to start going somewhere.
