So this was the first week I spent in the apartment (even though most of it was spent out of town for work). The one thing I'm having a lot of trouble with is not talking with my husband. I'm not talking to him nearly as much as I used to, but I have a feeling talking to him every day isn't really helping me to "figure things out" - it's also not very fair to him I would imagine. We talked last night and said that we need to come up with a schedule as to when and how often we can talk to one another - He suggested every 2 to 3 days, but in our marriage counseling we had said once a week. I just don't know what to do and how to handle this thing. Do I cut contact except for the emails and then the call when we're trying to plan our "date" or do we do the every the every couple of days thing?

How long should the trial last - at a minimum?? I got the apartment and started paying for it back on April 10 but I didn't move in until April 25 - do I say at least a month? at least two months? see how I feel after a month and re-assess whether or not I should continue? We shall see....

We're also supposed to have a "date" this weekend and I told him that I thought I had something going on with some friends, but I wasn't sure what day but that I'd get back with him... he mentioned going to the farmer's market on Saturday morning, but I have things I need to take care of for the apartment - like internet and cable and I sort of wanted to get that in order in addition to getting things put away in the apartment. I do want to see him and have our "date" - but he's already suggested we not do one this weekend - maybe that's what he wants??

He says he thinks I've already got my mind made up because I usually call him when I'm upset about something. Then he asked who the first person was that I wanted to see at the end of the day and I said I didn't know. He thought I was going to say him - and to be honest I don't know if I even want to see anyone when I get home from work - I haven't been working and going home to my apartment at all - today will be the first day!! (since I've been out of town - working late, then going immediately to dinner - and I don't really feel like a hotel room can compare because you're going "home" to no one regardless). And it hasn't even been a week - I need time and I don't need someone telling me what they think I already know.

He's also been telling me that he loves me and then he gets upset when I don't say it back - I tell him that I do care about him and I love him in a different way than say I love my parents - but I don't know what that necessarily means. When I don't say it back I can hear his voice drop and then I feel horrible for not saying it - but I personally don't think I should be saying it if I'm trying to figure things out and make sure I'm making the right decision.

I'm torn, I'm confused, I'm frustrated, I'm stressed. But I'm not crying!! So that's a positive!